Roj Contents

Transformation #4 Overcoming Avoidance Coping

the comic strip of 2 young boys, talking about avoidance


We all have moments in life when the fear of failure becomes too overwhelming, and we often find ourselves resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as avoidance. Avoidance allows our anxieties and worries to linger, hanging over us like a dark cloud that doesn’t seem to disperse. Until recently, this is what I was experiencing – contemplating new opportunities felt scary so instead, I avoided them completely which ultimately held me back from living my fullest life. 

In this step of becoming Roj, I want to share my story of facing those fears head-on, and overcoming avoidance to cope with positive outcomes. By processing the emotions attached to taking risks and re-writting the narrative around these experiences, it came down to an open heart willing to embrace change within a safe environment that allowed my growth journey.  


Identifying my coping mechanism – Avoidance Coping

After multiple therapy sessions, I was finally able to realize my avoidance coping mechanism was sabotaging me. I was so tired of procrastinating on meaningful tasks and never feeling quite content with the results. I realized it was time to act and show my real character instead of hiding in the shadows of avoidance therapy. It took a lot of effort and work, but through therapy and self-reflection, I have now conquered my habit of avoiding difficult tasks and have embraced accepting challenges.


Analyzing why I resorted to avoidance and the psychological effects it had on me

There have been times in my life when I didn’t have the strength to face certain issues. During these moments, I resorted to avoidance coping; this meant that instead of dealing with the difficulties head-on, I would avoid them altogether. The resulting anxiety and guilt created by seeing these aspects of my life in such a negative way progressively ate away at me until I had to confront them. I eventually realized that facing problems head-on was much better than avoiding them – not only would it help me work through feelings of stress and guilt but also help ensure that no resentment was created between myself, and the others involved. Through this blog post, I’ve learned how imperative it is to be brave in life and trust ourselves enough to face our own emotions and actions. 


Recognizing the need for change and confronting my fears

For years I had been suffering from an irrational fear and an avoidance coping mechanism without recognizing the need to go into detail about what I was feeling. It took me a long time to depend on myself and gradually build trust. However, when I finally decided to take charge of my own life and confront my fears, it was one of the smartest decisions I ever made. This blog post is part of my journey on how I overcame what scared me by being conscious of the patterns that were forming in my mind and how to be self-aware enough to start bringing about change. Although it was difficult, it eventually made me a world of difference in turning me into a better version of my self! 


Taking proactive steps to face my fear – therapy sessions, setting goals, intense physical activity

Taking proactive steps to face my fear was a big step in my transformation journey. Among the strategies I used were therapy sessions, setting goals, and intense physical activity. A huge part of what helped me was the support I received from close family and friends. My therapist gave me constructive advice regarding dealing with anxiety-inducing situations and how to manage them better. We also had several talks about facing some of my more irrational fears head-on. Additionally, I wrote out a plan of small achievable goals to help build resiliency. These goals were to help me prove that I could take control of my life, despite feeling anxious or scared at times.

 Physically, I stopped avoiding strenuous physical activities that made me feel uncomfortable and instead, I focused on movements that pushed my body limits-such as playing Tennis or HIIT exercises, which kept me both physically fit and mentally grounded. Taking these steps has been pivotal in assisting me to make progress in effectively breaking down fear barriers and building up and attitude of courage. 


Practicing self-compassion and understanding when it’s ok to take a step back

Self-compassion is a simple concept but can be challenging to put into practice, especially for those of us who are used to pushing ourselves too hard sometimes and sacrificing our well-being. Learning how to become more self-aware and check in with yourself regularly is the first step towards becoming comfortable with taking a step back when the situation demands it. It helps to focus on meeting your own needs first. This doesn’t make you selfish!

It’s an important part of being able to extend compassion and kindness to others. I’ve tried to make this approach a habit over the past two years. Although it’s been challenging at times, I’ve seen tangible benefits in my life as I stress less about doing too much all the time. 


Reaping the benefits of facing one’s fears – a newfound sense of confidence and personal growth

Facing our fears can be a daunting task, but those who dare to walk the extra mile to overcome them, will reap a bounty of benefits.

By conquering these apprehensions, individuals often experience an invigorating sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that carries over into other aspects of their lives. The benefits don’t just make us proud of ourselves; it also boosts our confidence in our abilities and opens new oppurtunities for personal growth. I know that every time I acknowledge my fears and take the leap out of my comfort zone, I am rewarded with a newfound sense of belief in myself. At that moment, tackling whatever was stressing me out, started to feel manageable after all-and that alone was its reward!!

In conclusion, I have made leaps and bounds since learning how to cope with my anxiety through avoidance coping. By confronting my fears, I was able to take steps toward developing new skills and improving myself. Although taking this journey of healing has been difficult, it has also been rewarding. Every accomplishment along the way has reaffirmed the fact that I can achieve remarkable things if I put in the effort. 

To anyone out there feeling overwhelmed by life’s hardships, remember it from me-fear is something you can overcome. Don’t let anxiety or worries stop you from living your life to the fullest, create a plan that works for you and stick to it!

Now, it’s time for you to answer this question: How do you cope with anxiety and stress? Let me know in the comments 😉 

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